Category Archives: Mean Stuff

11.11.11

For the past 35 years, 11 Nov came and went by without much fanfare. The attention received this year was based purely on merit of the many 1’s, 6 in all.

I’d know – my husband’s birthday fall on 11 Nov. For every year before this, 11 Nov came and went without any more of a mention other than on the newspapers’ date of print.

It was reported in the papers this morning, the day after the mayhem of more than 500 couples tying the knot and many parents inducing births on 11 Nov 2011, that I wonder what the fuss is all about.

One of the couples getting hitched said they had an 11-yr age gap between them, and wanted to celebrate that by getting married on 11.11.11. My eyes rolled.

Then another couple who were interviewed said that 11.11.11 is an easy date to remember. Well, where wedding anniversaries are concerned, it is better that way for the wives, i.e. give the husbands no excuse at all.

Clever of the bride, yes, but too little faith in her husband-to-be, it seems. Has he such a bad memory that he cannot even remember his own wedding anniversary? Or perhaps it didn’t mean enough to him to make an effort to remember? My eyes rolled to the top of my head.

Parents, on the other hand, have some interesting things to say too.

One beaming father wanted his newborn son to be ahead of his peers in life, to come first in whatever he does. What bodes better than a birth-date that denotes exactly that? If an induced birth can give that edge, why not? Poor kid, I thought. With parental expectations at such heights before he is even born, I feel so very sorry for him. My eyes rolled to the top of my head and stuck there.

Although I think this is cheesiness at its peak, cliches do stick in the mind, don’t they?

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Name Dropper

How do you tell if someone is insecure, and perhaps coupled with a low self esteem?

I have a colleague, A, who has to name-drop under every circumstance. And in many instances, the name that was dropped would not raise any eyebrows at all.

A: I had a tummy-ache. Think I ate something wrong.
Me: What did you eat?
A: I went to a Japanese restaurant X, which was located at ABC Mall, and we ordered the most fantastic bento ever!

Now knowing A, she would call a coffee-shop a restaurant if they so much as take her order at the table and serve it to her.

Then I complimented a fellow colleague on a nice dress on another occasion.

A butted in and claimed that she has the same dress in another colour and that she got it from Fox at an exorbitant price.

Who cares if she has the same dress?! And nobody is asking where she got the dress from. And Fox, exorbitant? The apparel there are mostly under $50.

Moreover, Fox is not the type of brand I would want to be name dropping all over the place. Fox has the same stature as Cotton On, Giordano and Hang Ten as far as I am concerned – shops from which I buy cheap tees to sleep in. I have to quantify that I have nothing against Fox. It is a cool, nice, mass market brand.

You’ve got to admit name-dropping is an art. It is supposed to be a classy act where there isn’t any blatant, obvious, in-your-face names at every punctuation, and especially not non-upmarket names. For those who don’t know any better, I think the best thing to do is to just ZIP it.


Monkey see, monkey do

Of late, I started noticing a mini-me in the office.

She started wearing the same Pandora bracelet I have, in the same pink stones I chose.  It could be pure coincidence and frankly I would have not minded it one bit if due credit had been given. Being the closet bitch that I am, I pretended to show interest in the SAME bracelet I have, and she then suddenly recollected that “Oh yeah! I just remember you also have the same bracelet!”

Yeah, right. I was wearing the same bracelet on that day, and since two years ago. She even came with me to Ion Orchard about a year ago to pick out the pink glass I had. My darling colleague has a memory like a kitchen sieve. No kudos to her for the bad acting.

On another occasion, I was asking if another colleague wanted to go with me to a Warehouse event later in the week. (To the clueless, Warehouse is a high street fashion store from the UK.) The invitee asked what occasion it was – and I simply said it was for members only, and we would be going there primarily for the free champagne and canapes. Mini-me quickly added that she was also a member of Warehouse back in KL.

Yeah, right again. If she’s not a member in this country, she’s not invited. Period. Who cares where her membership originated from? The next thing I knew, she was accumulating receipts from Warehouse to earn her local membership.

However, in all fairness, I should probably redeem her smeared name a little as she is basically quite a nice person.  Yours truly just do not quite dig mini-me’s, that’s all.


Old Fogey

There is a colleague of mine who is an old fogey in every sense of the word.

She got on my nerves yesterday. She was an admin person whose duties would suit her very well, however, part of her natural self is to deny help to anybody in need of it with the most implausible excuses.

 

Not only did she deny to do what was required of her, when I did it, she turned around and gave me the sabotage of the century. My century, that is. My normally placid, peaceful working day was ruined by her purposeful sabotage. Perhaps I am being overly dramatic here, but I need to vent.

Anyway, I was intent on NOT speaking to her when I stepped into the office this morning, but she greeted me cheerfully, as if the episode yesterday did not happen at all.

Now, tell me, what should I make of that?

 


Malingerer at it again!

I cannot believe how frequent this acquaintance of mine takes sick leave.

Just this morning, he updated “38.1 deg cel!” onto his Facebook page and a couple of hours ago, he had this to say, “Fever till blur blur…….39.6 …….”

A keen eyed observer commented that “fever until blur but still clear enough to update fb. 😛 ”  

Hahahaha!

I certainly hope his boss is a friend on his Facebook!


Suspected malingerer found

Saw this post on Facebook – ” Sick on mc yesterday and today. Fever went down this morning, but think it’s coming back again . Pray !!!!!!”

If he was so sick, how in the world could he still log on to Facebook and make this declaration?

Come to think of it, I have seen numerous postings about him being unwell. Either he is seriously in need of a full body check-up, or he is malingering like there is no tomorrow!


What are you laughing at?

Many things put me in stitches, some are seriously funny but some are just plain mean but funny all the same.

Whenever I see someone trip over and fall, I have to stifle my laughter.  By that, I mean I have to hold my breath, count to 10 or 100 (it depends), and completely change my train of thought so that I would not do the anti-social thing and laugh.

It is not acceptable by society at large to laugh at someone who has accidentally hurt himself or herself by tripping over.  However, I hope to seek penance in the fact that I am not rejoicing in someone else’s pain.  It is the bodily contortions to break one’s fall that is so so so hilarious.  I admit I am a rotten person, alright?!

I have laughed at myself when I nearly tripped over after alighting from a bus. As I was about to fall, I hunched over and the force threw me a few more steps forward. By the time my back was straightened, I realised I had made a complete spectacle of myself in full view of the people waiting at the bus-stop.

What was worse, one of my shoes was stuck at THAT spot a few paces behind me.

Even though I became the subject of my own ridicule, I had to stifle my own laughter in case bystanders think I am nuts.  I crawled away in humiliation but as soon as I was out of the sight of the waiting people at the bus-stop, I couldn’t stop giggling.

FYI – I have watched this video about umpteen times, sometimes with friends, sometimes alone, and it has never failed to put me in stitches every time.