Tag Archives: Cell Group

Take a break please!

The cell group leader is in need of a much needed break.

At least, that is what I think. Yet he doesn’t seemed to think so. He is punishing pushing himself, all dried up, bitter and disappointed, and yet still making it to cell, making us all suffer that glum, negative mood of his.

I think in order to make sense of this post, let me share what happened at cell last Friday (even though I wasn’t present, as I was nursing a cold in bed, knocked out from all the meds I took).

As I was oblivious to the meltdown happening in my living room, and the stalemate thereafter, I can only replicate first-hand accounts of what I heard.

Apparently, after 9 months of doing nothing, the cell group leader kicked off a series of lessons on “What is cell group to you?”. It started well but ended in a stalemate when one of the members asked that he sped up the whole process and not dragged it on for two more weeks as she rightly observed that we have wasted a whole nine months doing nothing.

It was at this point (all first-hand accounts agree) that the cell group leader exploded emotionally, started to shout in anger and break into uncontrollable sobs, that he was very disappointed with the cell group. To him, we were not growing. We didn’t help out at church events. We complained about everything. We were not evangelizing.

Indignant at his outburst, the members answered/ argued/ shouted back. It was mayhem, a complete meltdown.

There was no conclusion. The members believed that it was not wrong to have expectations of being nurtured in cell, while the leader believed he was not wrong to want to see tangible growth among the members. In the stalemate that ensued, the leader left without a word.

And with that, we fast-forward to last night. Friday was cell-night, and the sectional leader came in. There was an ice-breaker, a worship session and sharing. He addressed issues like part of the lesson, not pinpointing what the leader or members did wrong.

The cell group leader did turn up, albeit late at 8.45pm. He came in with a glum face, and when asked to share his thoughts on the topic, his tone was negative, bordering on bitter.

When another cell group member shared her thoughts, he sang a different tune and for a while, it seemed like there was a debate. At the end of the lesson, after prayer, he left without a word. Again.

At the dinner table, I asked the sectional leader if he or the cell group leader would be conducting lessons in the subsequent weeks. His answer disappointed me.

The cell group leader would be facilitating the lessons, although the SL would be at our cell group for the next few weeks.

I honestly don’t think the cell group leader is up to it. He seems to be too raw emotionally and there was no reconciliation with the members yet.

I am afraid of what is to come for the next few Fridays. Why doesn’t he take that god-damn break now, please?

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9 months and counting…

I am not counting down to some estimated delivery date, for those wondering.

It is the number of months we have not had any bible studies in our cell group. By that, I mean we’ve not shared or talked or discussed or discoursed anything relating to the bible at all.

We have spoken with our cell group leader about this on two occasions – and the cell members even came up helpfully with ideas on what we could do to help. Although he seemed to have understood our concerns, and despite having arrived at a conclusion as to which material we should use for future lessons, nothing has been done in the months since.

When probed GENTLY by us again two weeks ago, the cell leader finally let on that he was feeling down and on the evenings before cell nights, he actually felt underwhelmed.  That probably explained the reminder messages that came later and later, and of late, none at all; the tardiness in coming to cell, being constantly late, and occasionally, by over an hour. When he did turn up, his phone would be in his hands, and his eyeballs, glued to the little screen.

Over these 9 months, our big group of 14 regular members have dwindled to about 8 now. On a particularly bad day, there were only 3 members who turned up, not counting the hosts, that is, my husband and I.

Something happened last night to heighten the level of frustration I had with the cell leader. He posed a question to us – What is cell to you? which led me to think that our petition 2 weeks ago was pretty effective.

Somewhere along the way, he got defensive when a cell member remarked that if we are to focus on the treasure in Heaven and not those on earth, then what treasure in Heaven should we expect to see.  It seemed like an opening for a discussion but the cell leader broke us off in mid-sentence and started his tirade on the subject. I was nowhere more enlightened at the end of his tirade than I was before.

I think citing burn-out as a reason is lame. If one is tired, one should ask for ministry leave instead of rotting the entire cell with his pessimism, emotional outbursts and defensiveness. I could have been too harsh on him, but 9 months of waiting for him to get his act back together is 9 months too long.